Stupid Call of the Day

I've been working at a very large furniture store for the last year. The lion's share of my job is answering phone calls in regards to store hours, upcoming sales, directions, availability of items, and the occasional complaint. Luckily, as I wield no real authority complaints go back to a manager.

At least once a day I get a phone call so excruciatingly stupid I decided to start a blog. It is especially awesome around the holidays because people expect to get decent furniture for cheap. I'm not going to bore you with an explanation of different manufacturers and pricing but the old saying "you get what you pay for" is true.

Enough discourse, onto the stupid. Hopefully all, if not those who have ever worked in sales, find this mildly amusing. And because this is my first blog post you're getting a two for one.

Yesterday:

Me: Sales, how may I help you?
Guy: I have a question about this sectional I see in the see in the ad for $2199.
Me: What's your question?
Guy: Well, I'm pissed off. (Here we go.) I purchased that same sofa over the weekend and it cost me $2399. I want to know why I didn't get the sale price?
Me: (knowing the exact sectional he's referring to) That's been $2199 for the last six months. You should talk to a manager. Let me transfer you to a manager.

P.S. So I transfer him, but I'm curious as to the price difference. I look up his order and...he did purchase the 5 piece sectional for $2199. However, he added a sixth piece for $199. Thank you sir for wasting my time and yours by not reading your receipt and knowing what you purchased.

Today:

Me: Sales, how may I help you?
Guy: I was wondering about this 3 piece living room set for $788.
(Not a question as much as a statement with a very long pause.)
Me: What would you like to know?
Guy: Could I buy pieces separate?
Me: No sir, only as a set.
Guy: How long will that be on sale?
(Written across picture in ad: WHILE QUANTITIES LAST!)
Me: Until they sell out. (knowing what's coming next I make my preemptive strike) There are 25 sets in stock.
Guy: If I put a $100 dollars down can I put that on layaway?
(we require 1/3 down but at this point I don't care)
Me: Sure.
Guy: Oh, okay. I'll be in on friday.
Me: (I don't say goodbye and hang up)

15 minutes later I see the same number come up on my phone. There seems to be an inverse proportionality to the cheaper the furniture, the more frequent and stupid the questions.

Me: Sales, how may I help you?
Guy: Who makes that set for 788?
Me: (fumbling through a pack of model numbers) Lifestyle Upholstery.
Guy: Is that sofa comfortable? I don't want to feel wood when I sit on it.
(I'm holding back the laughter as best I can. Especially for a brand of furniture that shares the name of a condom manufacturer)
Me: I don't know. I've never sat on it.
Guy: Could you go sit on it and call me back?
Me: (At this point I want tell him it's 3 pieces of furniture for $800 what the fuck do you want) I can't but I will get you someone who can. (at this point I'm rid of said idiot.)

Fin.